Sitting alone amidst a room full of stuff scattered around, waiting to be put into bags and carried to a new place...lots of thoughts cross my mind - about life, about growing up, about future!!
With so many thoughts trying to rush out of my lips, I would have otherwise had the urge to pour my heart,shed some tears and long for a warm hug. But, today before I could run to that soul, I stopped myself to think if it was the right thing to do - the pouring out of whatever I had in my heart. Shouldn't I think about the other person too - the state of mind , the stage of life that the person might be in and whether I would be adding to their existing dilemmas about life ?...And I don't go !!
Today and many other days in the recent past did I stop myself from speaking up what I feel, I am trying to be more accommodating - not to comment on whether I like doing it or I take it as a part of growing up. I now, end up doing a lot of things that probably I would not have earlier - when I sit to think of the reasons behind acting so...I sit blank. There is an unknown feeling inside - I fail to recognize if it's loneliness, gloom, anxiety or mere silence. It scares me, bothers me but yet again, I don't share....I'm growing up!!!
With so many thoughts trying to rush out of my lips, I would have otherwise had the urge to pour my heart,shed some tears and long for a warm hug. But, today before I could run to that soul, I stopped myself to think if it was the right thing to do - the pouring out of whatever I had in my heart. Shouldn't I think about the other person too - the state of mind , the stage of life that the person might be in and whether I would be adding to their existing dilemmas about life ?...And I don't go !!
Today and many other days in the recent past did I stop myself from speaking up what I feel, I am trying to be more accommodating - not to comment on whether I like doing it or I take it as a part of growing up. I now, end up doing a lot of things that probably I would not have earlier - when I sit to think of the reasons behind acting so...I sit blank. There is an unknown feeling inside - I fail to recognize if it's loneliness, gloom, anxiety or mere silence. It scares me, bothers me but yet again, I don't share....I'm growing up!!!
I see people madly high on life, I ask to myself - "Have they found the purpose of life?". If they have, why haven't I?
What is it that I'm waiting to achieve, where is it that I'm tirelessly walking to reach? And some voice from within me laughs, a mockery filled laugh - it says - I'm running after a mirage that has never been, "a normal life"!
As I grow up, every new day tells me how pointless my expectations are - there is no normal and how can something non existent be my destination?I realize that the journey of complexities that I'm struggling to keep myself abreast of is LIFE...
With this wisdom ..hopefully I have grown up!
With this wisdom ..hopefully I have grown up!
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