Who are we...?

All of us or at least most of us are not who we are!....sounds strange?

No, I am not out of my mind...it is a fact,  not many of us would like to acknowledge. From the day we are born, with us takes birth the other us. Yes, we are twins technically but there is a shade of difference - they grow way faster than us. While we stumble to take our first steps , they are already a doctor, an engineer, a bureaucrat, an entrepreneur or a famous personality!

Such strong is the bond, that we are never jealous or insecure about the twin -  rather we see ourselves as one. We dream about walking hands in hands with them - while many actually do, many imagine ! Isn't it so much more easier? A perfect world and the perfect us. We are free, nothing stifles our potential, nothing pulls us back.

It sounds lucrative and enticing, but soon we realize that the twin keeps leaping and jumping to greater heights and while we sit surrounded by a mind and heart full of wishes and desires, wondering how to reach there. The gap between both continues to widen and finally one day we either break out of this web of unfulfilled desires or break down.

By the time we have broken out, leaped and jumped, barely reaching where the other one sat, they would have climbed few more flight of stairs - and the cycle continues...

The twin is our imaginary self...it is created by our parents but grows with us and in us. The other self plays multiple roles with equal dexterity and competence - it is a CEO one moment and a wanderlust traveller in the other.

The real world is imperfect and we might not be transitioning so smooth but that's not the idea....the idea is to make the life of your dreams and live it to the fullest...!
Wouldn't it be great if we could make ourselves so flexible, so agile, so fearless and so free!!

About growing up!!

Sitting alone amidst a room full of stuff scattered around, waiting to be put into bags and carried to a new place...lots of thoughts cross my mind - about life, about growing up, about future!!

With so many thoughts trying to rush out of my lips, I would have otherwise had the urge to pour my heart,shed some tears and long for a warm hug. But, today before I could run to that soul, I stopped myself to think if it was the right thing to do - the pouring out of whatever I had in my heart. Shouldn't I think about the other person too - the state of mind , the stage of life that the person might be in and whether I would be adding to their existing dilemmas about life ?...And I don't go !!

Today and many other days in the recent past did I stop myself from speaking up what I feel, I am trying to be more accommodating - not to comment on whether I like doing it or I take it as a part of growing up. I now, end up doing a lot of things that probably I would not have earlier - when I sit to think of the reasons behind acting so...I sit blank. There is an unknown feeling inside - I fail to recognize if it's loneliness, gloom, anxiety or mere silence. It scares me, bothers me but yet again, I don't share....I'm growing up!!!

I see people madly high on life, I ask to myself - "Have they found the purpose of life?". If they have, why haven't I?
What is it that I'm waiting to achieve, where is it that I'm tirelessly walking to reach? And some voice from within me laughs, a mockery filled laugh - it says - I'm running after a mirage that has never been, "a normal life"! 

As I grow up, every new day tells me how pointless my expectations are - there is no normal and how can something non existent be my destination?I realize that the journey of complexities that I'm struggling to keep myself abreast of is LIFE...

With this wisdom ..hopefully I have grown up!